In this thoughtful and grounded conversation, Noémi Beres joins us to talk about creativity, parenting, and the quiet work of reconnecting with yourself while raising a family. From navigating the realities of parenting a teenager to returning to art after years of burnout, Noémi shares what it means to show up with honesty, softness, and a little space to breathe.
What We Talk About:
Resources & Mentions:
This Week’s Gentle Nudge:
Make something this week—just for yourself. A doodle, a note, a playlist. Let your kid see you do it.
Paul - Why, Dad? (00:02.058)
Hello and welcome to the Why Dad podcast. We are your hosts, Andrew Stolpestead and Paul Wondry. And we are on a mission to discover what it means to be a dad, to be a man and to be the best versions of ourselves. And today we recognize that, you know, without, there are no dads without moms and we are very excited to have our first.
mom guest on the podcast and that is Noemi Barris and who is the co-owner of Podcast Connections, a podcast booking agency that helps entrepreneurs and experts grow their businesses through insightful interviews and connections. And with a background in online marketing and a master's degree in Danish literature and language, Noemi is a linguist, content creator and passionate organizer.
Artist residing in Cypress for 13 years, she creates unique mixed media collages on canvas, drawing inspiration from memories, nature, and Mediterranean life. So through courses in art therapy, color therapy, and positive psychology, Noemi has experienced firsthand the healing power of art, which she uses to help others find relaxation, self-expression, and emotional resilience. And she has a son who is 13. So Noemi, welcome to the show.
Noemi Beres (01:28.184)
Thank you for inviting me, Paul and Andrew. It's an honor to be here today.
Andrew Stolpestad (01:29.114)
You
We're happy to have you. Thank you for, thank you.
Noemi Beres (01:33.495)
I'm
Paul - Why, Dad? (01:33.523)
Excellent.
Yeah, so Noemi, I mean, what a colorful background you have and I'm sure that influences, you know, every element of your life. I kind of want to just start digging into the meat and potatoes. What does it mean to you to, what does being a mom mean to you?
Noemi Beres (01:59.183)
Wow, that's a very deep question to start with. But I love it. We just go there. I mean, it's probably the most important job in my life because I became an entrepreneur in 2007 and I thought that's the most important job in my life.
Andrew Stolpestad (02:00.249)
We don't hold back.
Paul - Why, Dad? (02:02.145)
We're just gonna start with a hardball, a fast pitch.
Noemi Beres (02:21.198)
There's nothing can be more important than that. But when I gave life to my son 13 years ago, mean, that was the most important job that ever happened to me. And yeah, and we don't have a license to do that. We never thought how to be once. And it's hard. It's hard to be getting to the mom role, you know, when you just like, that's the tiny baby there. It's like, okay, that's, there you go. And now it's yours. And now it's just raise him. And
Andrew Stolpestad (02:30.093)
Mm-hmm.
Paul - Why, Dad? (02:36.001)
Hmm.
Andrew Stolpestad (02:50.2)
Yeah.
Noemi Beres (02:51.274)
And it's probably the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me. And just the unconditional love that we can give out to our kids, that's the most amazing part of it. And I think that's the most amazing part of being a mom. Yeah.
Paul - Why, Dad? (03:05.577)
Yeah, yeah, I love that. And I mean, like you said, you know, we don't have work, we don't go to college, you know, to become a parent, right? You know, like, we invest so much in our personal and professional lives, but how prepared are we to become parents? Sometimes you just kind of like.
Andrew Stolpestad (03:06.147)
Good answer.
You
Andrew Stolpestad (03:17.325)
Mm-hmm.
Paul - Why, Dad? (03:25.663)
jump into the deep end. And then as an entrepreneur, you mentioned that transition. So how did you navigate that transition from being focused on your career, your entrepreneurship, and then now you have your now new most important job? How did you navigate that?
Noemi Beres (03:46.444)
Yes, it wasn't easy. mean, you know, it's like work life balance that we never have that. It's like, I, I, I usually call it harmony. It's just easier to, to talk about harmony between work life harmony, family work life harmony. It's, it's, it's not an easy job to do. And I struggled and I had kind of a burnout phase after my, you know, my son was born because, you know, you know, sitting in the evening and falling asleep, you know, the laptop is in my lap and, my.
Paul - Why, Dad? (03:51.883)
Mm-hmm.
Mm.
Andrew Stolpestad (04:15.362)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (04:16.385)
you know, child finally sleeping, but you have to do your work because you're an entrepreneur and you have to work. So it wasn't an easy ride. And there are certain things that you just have to give up. And obviously I didn't sleep enough. I started to have health problems, of course, because you, don't sleep enough. And it was kind of a vicious circle, like luckily together with my husband, figured it out somehow.
You know, when I was looking after our son during the day, so he was doing most of the work and then we switched. so it's trying to find that very fine line between harmony and craziness in the family. So it just tries to navigate that. Because many people think you're an entrepreneur, you are at home anyway, so you can do this and that. But it's not like that. I mean, you still have to look after your son and play and sing and learn languages and do stuff together.
Paul - Why, Dad? (04:54.942)
Mm-hmm.
Andrew Stolpestad (04:55.169)
Mm-hmm
Andrew Stolpestad (05:09.273)
Right.
Noemi Beres (05:09.653)
So it wasn't easy to find that kind of balance. Obviously now he's 13, so he has only the life. So now he doesn't really need us anymore that much during the day, but obviously we still have our dedicated family time and quality time together.
Paul - Why, Dad? (05:17.473)
Mm-hmm.
Paul - Why, Dad? (05:28.413)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, love that. How do you feel, or I guess, what would you say to...
parents who find themselves maybe in that initial transition stage, like what is one piece of advice that you would share with them to help get over that initial hump?
Noemi Beres (05:51.753)
You mean like giving birth and doing business at the same time or in which way?
Paul - Why, Dad? (05:57.089)
Yeah, exactly. Balancing professional life and especially that of an entrepreneur with becoming a parent.
Noemi Beres (06:06.773)
Yeah, I think at the beginning you really have to just put some time aside. And for me, was, I started to just work ahead and doing some things ahead and for a couple of months, because in Europe it's pretty normal to take some time off, like longer time, not just a couple of weeks, but month. So I prepared myself for that and the business as well, because I knew that's my most important job that time to look after my baby and to keep my baby healthy.
Andrew Stolpestad (06:23.49)
Mm-hmm.
Paul - Why, Dad? (06:25.953)
Mm-hmm.
Andrew Stolpestad (06:33.315)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (06:36.369)
And that was it. mean, I didn't really care about that business part anymore because, okay, I did my part. I worked a lot and now it's time to just look after myself and look after my child. And plus I had some complications during giving birth. And so I needed time to rest and recover. yeah, and I think it's just really important and just taking small steps and
Paul - Why, Dad? (06:40.993)
Hmm.
Paul - Why, Dad? (06:51.381)
Mm-mm. Yeah.
Andrew Stolpestad (06:57.965)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (06:58.465)
because we all want to become the super parents and super moms and just let's just give ourselves some credit and grace and just enjoy the early time as well because we don't have to do everything perfectly because we're not going to, we're going to do things that are not going to be perfect. So just, you know, just take one small step a day and just do it. Obviously back then I was so much more anxious about it, but looking back now I'm 45 and my son is 13. So it's a different story, but
Paul - Why, Dad? (07:19.659)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (07:27.391)
Like if you're a young parent, just take your time, take those small steps and enjoy the time together with your baby because they grew up so fast. But they do. I know it's a cliche, but they do grow up so fast.
Andrew Stolpestad (07:37.753)
Mm-hmm.
Paul - Why, Dad? (07:40.351)
Yeah. Yeah, I recently heard, well, I've heard it a couple of times, but it's kind of like,
It's a reframing of the time that we have with our kids and to kind of highlight how quickly the time goes by. And it's, only have 18 summers with your kids, know, give or take, right? And, you know, that's a little bit of an oversimplification, but it does highlight how brief of a period of time we have with our kids where it's like one-on-one.
Noemi Beres (08:01.473)
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Stolpestad (08:02.062)
Mm-hmm.
Andrew Stolpestad (08:16.953)
So, what were some thoughts and practicals, also, I don't know the right word, but just preparing. This was going to be your first kid, you were an aspiring mom. What was just going through your mind during your pregnancy to prepare yourself or...
being ready to accept this baby into the world? Cause you know, like from an aspiring dad's perspective, like I have my nieces and nephews with me all the time. So I get to pick and choose like when I'm involved in their life. But now here you are preparing for your own child. like what was some things that were really important to you to like, to, to focus on and prepare yourself for bringing?
Noemi Beres (09:02.367)
Yeah, that's a great question, Andrew. I was lucky because my mom was a kindergarten teacher for 40 years. Plus she has this online program about how to raise kids and how to especially raise kids between age three and six. Obviously that's not the baby age, but she helped me a lot and she gave me lot of advice when it comes to parenting and raising kids. She just told me, just take it easy.
Andrew Stolpestad (09:10.019)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (09:29.675)
You have that in you. Just go with the flow when you have your baby and when you prepare yourself. Because I know we're told that like read as many books as you can or watch as many, you know, listen to podcasts and watch this and watch that. And then you get so confused because there's so much information out there and you don't know what's right or what's wrong. And okay, what should I do now? It's just the overwhelming amount of information, especially I think.
Andrew Stolpestad (09:33.12)
Right.
Andrew Stolpestad (09:41.816)
Right.
Paul - Why, Dad? (09:43.595)
Mm-hmm.
Andrew Stolpestad (09:50.743)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (09:53.013)
In my case, like, you know, I was 32 when I gave birth. So like there's a lot of moms right now and just preparing, you know, pregnancy and getting ready, giving birth and it's just overwhelming what you have out there. And it's like, okay, so what should I do? I mean, this or that or A, B, E, F, like, it's really, really hard to choose. And I think you just...
Andrew Stolpestad (10:04.917)
Yeah.
Noemi Beres (10:13.48)
most of the time you just have to go with your instincts and just go back to yourself, listen to your soul, listen to your body, because it will tell you what to do and not to overanalyze, overcomplicate. I'm not saying that don't read parenting books or books about babies, but don't dive too much and too deep into it because when it comes, I mean,
Andrew Stolpestad (10:15.469)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (10:35.212)
in a way we have it in ourselves, especially moms. mean, it will come out from somewhere deep. And I think that's the most beautiful part, but I never thought that I had that in me. But when it happened, it was beautiful because just sometimes listen to your own instincts and listen to yourself when it comes to babies and not to therapists and psychologists and everyone that's like writing like 200,000 books about it and talking about podcasts about that. But yeah.
Andrew Stolpestad (10:37.805)
right.
Paul - Why, Dad? (10:40.651)
Mm-hmm.
Andrew Stolpestad (10:57.781)
Right.
Noemi Beres (11:04.574)
So just listen to yourself and ask your parents and ask your mom. Talk to your mom. I mean, obviously we are not so not everyone so lucky that we have like amazing, you know, family and amazing parents. I was lucky with my mom and with my parents, but they know a lot. Great, you know, grandparents, grandparents. They know a lot about to about babies and, you know, exchange those ideas and let them share those memories and.
They experienced much more than we did. think that's when the elderly generation can come into the picture because they can teach us so many things that we don't know anything about yet.
Andrew Stolpestad (11:43.684)
Right, Thank you for that. At the end there, Eugene, you just bring out the perspective of we have all the wisdom in our parents and grandparents to rely on. I mean, they've been through it. And so we're not alone in this journey in parenthood. have our own parents and our grandparents to really.
Noemi Beres (11:57.825)
Yeah.
Noemi Beres (12:09.11)
Right?
Andrew Stolpestad (12:09.785)
Look back on and rely on for helping us through that so something good to remember
Paul - Why, Dad? (12:14.23)
Yeah.
So Noemi, that makes me think because our family are, when available, is a real great resource for us as parents. I'm curious, you have family in Cyprus with you or is that reliance completely virtual?
Noemi Beres (12:43.57)
It is virtual now. Because I gave birth in Hungary. We moved back to Hungary for that period because I wanted to be with my parents. I'm an only child. So that was their first and only grandkid. So it was a big moment for them to just, you know, to be around him until he was like six months old. Then we moved back to Cyprus again. But yeah, I mean, we don't have any relatives here, no one. So basically, since our son was six months old, that was it. Like only two of us.
So it's not easy, like if you don't have a whole network of, you know, uncles, cousins, and because that's amazing when you can rely on so many people. And especially the early stage, you don't really trust so many, like, you know, babysitters and everything. So you're like, you are more conscious about who to let near to your child. So yeah, it was most of the time only us, two of us. Yeah.
Paul - Why, Dad? (13:12.406)
Yeah.
Paul - Why, Dad? (13:27.84)
Yeah.
Paul - Why, Dad? (13:35.347)
Yeah. Is that something like, how did you navigate that? Did you like build your own community around you there in Cyprus with the friends that you made or was it perhaps something else? How did you navigate those waters?
Noemi Beres (13:52.897)
Yeah, I mean, as the kids getting older and you know, they get into kindergarten, they get into school, preschool, it's so much easier. So parents can ask, you know, we asked other parents to look after our son and we did the same like an exchange. So, and that's, it's getting just easier and easier while they getting older because obviously just it's not their like tiny week.
babies that you just want to protect from everything and it's easier when they get older. So yeah, and we had those, you know, network of people and network of friends that they helped us. But most of the time you're still alone with everything basically. Yeah.
Paul - Why, Dad? (14:24.897)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Stolpestad (14:32.041)
This is a point Paul and I have been talking about in past episodes and then just in our daily conversations, know, just like the importance of like having a community life or in building a community life in today's day and age because technology, while it's making our lives simpler, kind of, we do have the ability, you know, virtual interactions with your family back in Hungary, but it's also kind of harder to like have a local community
around you because everyone is becoming a little bit more individualized due to like AI or technology and so that's one of the big things we've been discussing is just how do we navigate this time and age in order to keep or retain or build a community since as humans we are social creatures and there's that need for it.
Noemi Beres (15:25.644)
Absolutely. And, and it's a big question right now. think wherever you are in the world, doesn't matter, you're Europe and U S it is tough because, um, recently I just had a chat with a friend and we talked about like, you know, where does our friends come from? And for me, for example, personally, like I have online friends from the U S and I've been living here in Cyprus for 14 years and,
Andrew Stolpestad (15:45.443)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (15:48.968)
It's very hard to say that like very few friends that are very close to me and they're so much closer that actually are virtual. So it's such a strange word we're living in. But then I also had chat with other friends who are also from the US by the way. And we talked and we just talked about that. Like, does it matter as long as it's a community and as long as it's, we speak the same language, we understand each other. Everybody, you know, seen, heard, valued, know, loved and...
Andrew Stolpestad (15:55.512)
Right.
Andrew Stolpestad (16:08.259)
Mm-hmm.
Paul - Why, Dad? (16:08.385)
Hmm.
Noemi Beres (16:16.511)
whatever friendship we're having, I think it doesn't really matter as long as we have those relationships, we have those friendships, whether it's virtual or in person. I'm not saying, mean, ideal is in person, but still, mean, does it matter as long as we have friends?
Andrew Stolpestad (16:21.441)
Right.
Andrew Stolpestad (16:33.433)
Right, good point. It's just the dynamic is shifting and so it's like we have to shift, we have to be able to shift with that. So that's a good point.
Paul - Why, Dad? (16:35.222)
Yeah.
Noemi Beres (16:41.972)
Right, yeah.
Paul - Why, Dad? (16:44.641)
Yeah, especially with, mean, at least in the US, I think it's becoming much more common for families to go to where the job is, you know? So that means families and communities are constantly getting spread out. So all the more, it's not like you're going to let go of those connections that...
you you grew up with or that you built in a certain location. And sometimes, you know, the added benefit of the stratosphere, you know, is the nanosphere is the, is you can find, you know, gems in the rough that maybe you wouldn't find otherwise. So, very good point.
Andrew Stolpestad (17:22.476)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (17:27.595)
Absolutely. And in Cyprus, the other problem is that so many people move in and out of the country. Like, you know, there's so many nationalities together. And so in that way, for example, my son lost to so many friends because they moved away since age three. And it's always hard on people. I, and one of my best friend moved away back to Luxembourg. And so it's always hard on you when, you know, people just come and go in and out of your life. But obviously it's part of it because we live in an island when people just don't stay for 20 years.
Andrew Stolpestad (17:41.251)
Mm-hmm.
Andrew Stolpestad (17:56.397)
Right.
Noemi Beres (17:57.12)
but they move around.
Paul - Why, Dad? (17:57.471)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's something that resonates with me because my dad was in the Air Force. So we he was getting re-stationed every few years. So we never lived in a place growing up. I think the longest was four years. So it was kind of like you move somewhere, you make neighborhood friends and then, you know, you move on and and it builds it brings, you know, that.
Noemi Beres (18:05.418)
Right?
Noemi Beres (18:14.293)
Wow.
Noemi Beres (18:18.443)
Mm.
Paul - Why, Dad? (18:22.593)
Adversity challenges you to make new friends and to kind of get outside of your comfort zone and whatever. So there are benefits, but there's also those challenges.
Noemi Beres (18:36.191)
Yeah, absolutely.
Paul - Why, Dad? (18:39.102)
So Noemi, I noticed some artwork behind you. Are these collages that you put together?
Noemi Beres (18:46.121)
Yeah, yeah, I'm a mixed-media artist and I make hand-sewn collages on canvas and that's what I do. I usually tell you my non-existent free time, but yeah, I had a few exhibitions and group exhibitions and my goal is to have a solo exhibition one day. So hopefully that will happen. I mostly focus more on the business side of things right now, but it's really like relaxes me as an artist to work on my collages.
Andrew Stolpestad (18:56.141)
Mm-hmm.
Paul - Why, Dad? (19:07.006)
yeah.
Andrew Stolpestad (19:10.125)
Mm-hmm.
Paul - Why, Dad? (19:12.79)
Mm-hmm.
So tell me how did you get into it? know your intro said that you took a number of courses. What came first? The courses or the interest in art?
Noemi Beres (19:26.567)
Yeah, interest in art, definitely. I mean, since I was a teenager, which was a long time ago, but I'm really interested in art. always, you know, I painted, I drew, I loved everything that was kind of creative. And when I, actually when I was, you know, expecting my son, that was the time that I started to make, 13 years ago, my mixed media collages and cotton paste collages, like paper collages.
Andrew Stolpestad (19:31.554)
You
Andrew Stolpestad (19:38.595)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (19:52.395)
and somehow just came to me and that was an amazing place just to express myself. And I just, you know, keep doing them. And it was especially, it became really important in my life when in 2019, I lost my dad to cancer and my grandma to an accident the same year, just before COVID. Then we lost the business because of COVID, because it was an online travel related business. So it was a lot of grief, anxiety happening in my life.
Paul - Why, Dad? (19:57.697)
you
Paul - Why, Dad? (20:06.209)
you
Andrew Stolpestad (20:17.177)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (20:19.314)
So I went back to my roots. went back to my art and yeah, that was the time when I just really focused on not watching the news, not scrolling social media during the pandemic, but really just focusing and creating kind of a sacred place for myself to help me to heal. And it worked. And then I realized, okay, if it is working for me, maybe I should do something with it because if,
Andrew Stolpestad (20:28.321)
Right.
Andrew Stolpestad (20:34.285)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (20:43.21)
You know, so then I did the courses, so the art therapy, and I'm still doing a few new courses too, and positive psychology. So I can help other people get on podcasts and, you know, share my message. And if I can only help just one person with my message, I mean, that's already a win.
Andrew Stolpestad (21:00.373)
It is, yeah. That's... I appreciate that answer because it's something like I can resonate with. My family is very artistic in their own way. The painting behind me, my mom painted. She loves to do paintings. My dad is a music man. He was raised in a musical family when my grandfather came back from World War II. He was a...
Noemi Beres (21:14.154)
Wow.
Andrew Stolpestad (21:28.865)
in the Navy attached to the Marines in the island hopping in the Pacific. So he saw a lot of things that any 18 year old shouldn't have to see. And he jumped into music as his therapy. And he passed that down to my dad and his brothers and my dad passed music on to me and my brothers. And so there's just like you said, there's that therapeutic healing that comes just from getting into the arts, such as, you know, fine arts and music. And so that's
always been something I've been like I want to you know pass on to my children as well like the importance of just connect you know finding healing and whether it be spiritual or mental healing within within art.
Paul - Why, Dad? (22:17.151)
Yeah, so kind of building on that, I have a two part question for you Noemi. One is, do you think, and this may just be personal for each person, but like what do you think is about art that makes it therapeutic, that helps you?
attain healing. And then the second part is how do we, know, Antrim talked about passing it on to your kids and you have your son, like how do we impart that upon our kids, you know, especially, you know, they might not have the same specific interests as us, but passing on like the general healing power of those of art in general.
Noemi Beres (22:58.142)
Yeah, that's a great question. So what is therapeutic about it? Like, I think the most therapeutic part is that it really, the way it helps us to express emotions, it can be pain, anger, anything that happens in our life in a very safe way, instead of like raging or instead of doing things that are not healthy for us. And even for kids, I mean, that's why it's so therapeutic about it. And
Maybe kids, for example, kids can meditate at that age, but they can totally use a coloring book and some colored pencils or making a very basic collage. And just the monotony of art, it's a form of cathartic. I mean, you really, really understand yourself better and you connect with yourself on a deeper level when you start making art. And you don't have to be an artist in order to do that. So that's why it's perfect for adults.
Paul - Why, Dad? (23:41.013)
Mm.
Noemi Beres (23:52.585)
And that's why it's perfect for kids because it's just for your own joy. It lights you up. It makes you happier. It makes you calmer. And it's also proven that like it, you know, it helps to increase the serotonin level in your brain, which also helps to find depression, which can, you know, happen like at any age nowadays. So I think that's the most beautiful part of it that you don't need much to do it. And instead of like, you know, scrolling on social media or watching something on the TV.
Paul - Why, Dad? (24:08.673)
Mm.
Noemi Beres (24:21.246)
You can just sit down and color a few coloring books and it, you know, it's amazingly, you know, help you. And, and the second part of the question is like how, like, for example, you did that with my son, for example, he was very young, like three, four. So he started to make collages with him. It's just so easy. I mean, you need a pair of scissors, a couple of old magazines and just a sheet of paper glue, and then off you go. And you can just create something magical.
and with kids and I did that with him. He's not so much into it right now. know, computer games unfortunately are much more appealing than sitting down and making a collage, but he's also like creative writing for him. He was always really into that and we always supported that part and I think that that's also important. Or for me, music. I'm not a musician by any means, but I love drumming and I got my first drum when I turned 40.
Paul - Why, Dad? (24:53.439)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (25:18.57)
And it was like it's djembe, I have a djembe drum, I have a handpan hang. And so I asked him, it's like, okay, can we play together just a little bit of my handpan and just to feel the rhythm. And it's amazing that how kids can enjoy that too. It's not, know, excuse me. So it's not just, he doesn't really, they're not always into it. Like obviously you have to find the right moment to connect with your child on that level.
Paul - Why, Dad? (25:19.262)
wow.
Paul - Why, Dad? (25:36.075)
Yeah.
Paul - Why, Dad? (25:43.616)
Yeah.
Noemi Beres (25:47.624)
Because you can just force it. mean, art can be forced on kids because then it can backfire because after a while, if you do something, okay, you have to play the violin for, you know, 10 years and then you'll be amazing. Maybe some kids won't and they don't even enjoy it. And they will hate the violin the rest of their life if you just push that too hard. So again, harmony. like to find that harmony, like going back where we talk, what we were talking about, harmony in life, work, family, and with kids too. It's not like pushing them too hard.
Paul - Why, Dad? (25:53.941)
Right.
Paul - Why, Dad? (26:07.776)
Right.
Noemi Beres (26:16.647)
but somehow just leading them into something. And, and I love the interview with you did the gentleman. I was listening to it today, who wrote the, your very first guest on the show. And I, I'm sorry, I can't remember his name. And that was a great interview. And I loved what he was talking about that, like, like kind of leading them into something and not just telling them what to do, but leading them. are.
Paul - Why, Dad? (26:29.237)
Yeah.
Paul - Why, Dad? (26:40.512)
Mhm.
Noemi Beres (26:41.235)
You're not their teacher, but somehow their coach just leading them into life and leading them into art too and help them to create something beautiful, but not pushing them. So that's what I'm trying to do with my son too. Like, you know, I mean, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
Paul - Why, Dad? (26:49.782)
Yeah.
Paul - Why, Dad? (26:55.615)
Yeah, yeah, those are great answers and thank you for that. so it sounds like the healing part is a lot about comes down to like processing your emotions. And I imagine that that also helps you get to know yourself much better, which then sets you up for greater success and improvement.
Noemi Beres (27:25.449)
Yeah, absolutely. And also, like, and he also told me, you know, he also said during that interview and that just, you know, it's really paid attention to that. Like the school system in the U.S., they don't really focus on like art education so much because like math, science, whatever, everything is so much more important than art, for example. It's like, oh, because you're like, you're going to be a starving artist or something, all these stereotypes we have, which is not true because you can be
Paul - Why, Dad? (27:51.008)
Right.
Andrew Stolpestad (27:51.833)
you
Noemi Beres (27:54.142)
You can be an entrepreneur, can be an artist at the same time and you can be successful, like truly successful. And we have the same problem in Europe because...
Andrew Stolpestad (27:56.619)
Exactly.
Paul - Why, Dad? (27:57.877)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (28:01.253)
yeah, you can learn music, you can do this, you can do that. Like, yeah, we have been focused on marketing and everything because there's so much more important, but then everything just like kind of complements and you can compliment each other. So it can, you can totally work with that too. And creativity, like coming from art and use that in your business. Like in my case, I do that too. So, and it's pretty amazing that you can intertwine these things in your life and in your business. So just, we just focus on, think more.
Andrew Stolpestad (28:05.453)
Mm-hmm.
Paul - Why, Dad? (28:10.401)
Hmm.
Andrew Stolpestad (28:23.161)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (28:27.419)
on art for kids because that's how you express yourself, that's how they become more creative in their lives.
Andrew Stolpestad (28:31.819)
Right.
Paul - Why, Dad? (28:32.681)
Yeah, yeah, it's fascinating to see. I have a four year old daughter and a newborn, but our four year old daughter, you know, she goes to daycare and they do allow a lot of free time to to do our mostly it's coloring. Sometimes there's some other medium as well. But it's it's kind of crazy, like to me to see how long.
four year old will sit down and she'll take a whole page of paper and she'll fill it entirely with intricate designs and drawings and it blows my mind. But the aptitude is there and usually there's a story being told too.
Noemi Beres (29:24.039)
Yeah, it's pretty amazing. I really enjoyed the time when I was coloring with my son. I mean, he was like kind of same age as your daughter. And we were talking in the meantime, because you can't like, can't have the best chats during those times. It's like coloring and you're just asking questions, not interrogating your child, but like asking questions about his life or whatever he's thinking. And that's just pretty amazing because it just flows so much easier when you sit down and talk about it.
Paul - Why, Dad? (29:33.121)
Hmm
Paul - Why, Dad? (29:45.6)
Yeah.
Paul - Why, Dad? (29:49.061)
Right, you're not going to have nearly or any conversation if you just sit them down and be like, okay, like let's have a talk like that's not happening but art play Anything else that kind of like brings down those defenses and gives them something else to do Yeah, that's a great way to do that
Noemi Beres (29:53.917)
Yeah. Right. No, it's not.
Andrew Stolpestad (30:07.555)
Yeah, and going back to the therapeutic level of it too, my eldest niece is 12 or 13 and she has autism, but her space to gather herself and root herself is in art. And she's a phenomenal artist. She loves to draw and paint. And so whenever life is getting too much for her to handle, she just goes and grabs a pad of paper and her pencils and sits down for...
hours and just creates the most amazing, amazing art. And it's just her, you know, just self-therapy of like, this is where I know I can find myself again and root myself in reality. like you said, art is so important for just being able to express our feelings and our emotions in ways that words cannot describe.
and you can just let all of that out on the canvas or the paper or whatever your medium is and let be vulnerable so to say in that moment.
Noemi Beres (31:16.231)
Yes. Yeah. And because in today's society is like emotional vulnerabilities, like a weakness, even when we are grown up and the same for kids. And it's just beautiful that you can really express those uncomfortable, you know, emotions or whatever you're feeling in whatever you're making, like painting, drawing. And it's really beautiful. And also like help kids with self-esteem. It's an amazing journey that you can really, really help to
Andrew Stolpestad (31:22.349)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (31:43.645)
to improve their self-esteem through art. And for adults too, not just kids.
Paul - Why, Dad? (31:49.023)
Yeah. And speaking of adults, I think you mentioned that you teach adults, adults art, is that correct? And specifically therapy or no?
Noemi Beres (31:58.197)
no, actually what I do is, is like, usually I go on podcasts and, I share my knowledge and my story about that. So that's the, way I'm helping, but actually right now I'm, you're not far from the truth, but because I'm getting ready for a, like an online presentation plus an online course where I got invited and I'm going to help people to make collages.
Paul - Why, Dad? (32:06.398)
Sure.
Noemi Beres (32:24.87)
And these people are, they have Hungarian heritage like me, like, you know, I was born and raised there, but they are in the US and they just really connected to their Hungarian roots. Some of them speak Hungarian, some of them don't, but they would love to incorporate their memories into some kind of art project. So I'm going to do like a four week course. It's going to be free to join and yeah, it's going to be fun to see, you know, adults, you know,
Paul - Why, Dad? (32:41.569)
Mm.
Noemi Beres (32:50.972)
doing that and it's therapeutic plus it's about their memories, it's about their heritage. It will be interesting. So that's actually the first time I'm doing something like that. Yeah, it's kind of a debut with that.
Paul - Why, Dad? (32:57.857)
Yeah.
Paul - Why, Dad? (33:03.423)
Yeah, no, that's great. Where can people, so if we have any listeners who have that Hungarian heritage and are interested, where can they find out more about that?
Noemi Beres (33:12.848)
Yeah, the best to get in touch with me and I can share all the information at this stage because it's not official, the page yet, but you can definitely get in touch with me on Instagram. You type my name in, Noemi Beres, or LinkedIn. I'm always available there. So we can have a chat about that.
Paul - Why, Dad? (33:29.889)
Sure, yeah, no, that's fantastic. And then on more of the general scale, let's say, because it's also probably, it's hard to impart on your kids what you haven't experienced yourself. So let's say we have parents listening, or aspiring parents who haven't, like.
ever been exposed to art and maybe they're a little intimidated by like all the options out there. What would you recommend to them to kind of dip their toes in the world of art?
Noemi Beres (34:02.728)
I would say the easiest and just the basic thing that you can do, colour. Just colouring books. I mean, it's so powerful. It still has the same effect on you. I mean, that's great. And the other thing is not about like, you know, drawing or painting or whatever, but if kids are little love rhythm and you don't really need much to learn, for example, to play in a djembe, the djembe drum is probably the easiest thing that you can do.
Paul - Why, Dad? (34:11.765)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (34:30.576)
And I have friends and I know they do courses for kids and for adults and kids with disabilities and with everything. And Jambe Drum is just an amazing tool to get started and dip your toe into the world of music. And it's pretty amazing. I like a drum every morning, like for five to 10 minutes. And it really helps me to get started. And if I have some kind of stress for that morning, I can...
Paul - Why, Dad? (34:44.449)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (34:56.614)
definitely drum away. So I would say it's you can buy these jambi drums. They're not expensive. And for kids, it's amazing. Like you can either do music, you can do like coloring, but anything can be therapeutic. Even like a walk with your child can be therapeutic. I mean, that's, it's not art, but I'm a walker. So I love walking. I walk every day. And I sometimes do that with my son. If I can invite him to do that, not every day, obviously, because he's not really into that like daily.
Paul - Why, Dad? (35:12.309)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (35:25.18)
But if we can do it together, that's amazing because the best conversations we have, it's always around like when we walk by the sea or when we walk around in the neighborhood. And I just, you know, it's so precious. I just love that time with him because he really opens up. And if there's something on his mind, he just opens up about it and we talk about it. And that's not art, but it can be anything or just teach them how to take cool pictures with their phones. I mean, we all have mobile phones. They all have mobile phones and all this, you know,
Paul - Why, Dad? (35:44.181)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (35:54.312)
tiny moments or beautiful moments in our lives that they can just take a picture. Like the other day we went out for a meal and it was like a holiday, the Pentecost holiday in Cyprus. It was a long holiday and it was so cool that I saw my son just taking out his phone and just taking pictures of things. it's like, because he saw me doing that and we are the example, we are the mirror. So if, if, if you can teach them just with by example, that's amazing to see it's like, okay.
Paul - Why, Dad? (36:16.469)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (36:22.673)
So he likes taking those pictures too. So it's like, that made me proud. It's like, at least I did something right there. So inspired him to do something.
Paul - Why, Dad? (36:30.741)
Yeah, yeah, that's such a great point. know, like, there's a phrase I've heard. It refers to habits, but I think it refers to life lessons in general. like habits are taught, not taught, you know, because we, you know, we can tell our kids all we want and some of it will sink in, but really they're going to do what they see us doing, you know.
Noemi Beres (36:56.987)
Yes, exactly.
Paul - Why, Dad? (37:02.241)
So how do you feel, I know that art has really been a source of healing for you and how do you feel like it's influenced your like your parenting style and also your personal career? Like how has that changed both of those aspects of your life?
Noemi Beres (37:30.83)
I love that question. Yeah, I definitely became so much calmer and more patient with myself and with my family, with my son. I think that's really important because I wasn't always like that. And it's just really hard to be kind of be, you know, learning patience and learning to slow down because you can't rush art. Like when you do something, you just can't just rush it because that's not the whole point.
Paul - Why, Dad? (37:53.814)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (37:56.848)
You need to just kind of enjoy the journey, enjoy the journey of art, of life, of business, and not just rushing things in life because we are in so much rush and there's so much busyness in the world and so much noise and we just forget to slow down and just, you know, kind of be a little bit, you know, in silence and gather our thoughts without any distractions. And I think art helped me to do that. And it's...
It takes time to do that and it takes practice. And I'm not just talking about like journaling and meditation, the usual stuff that people tell you to do, but just really to understand yourself better and just have a better relationship with yourself and with your family and like patience, patience. It's really important. yeah, just respect your time and that precious time with your family.
Paul - Why, Dad? (38:44.481)
Mm-hmm.
Paul - Why, Dad? (38:51.425)
Yeah, yeah, that is so powerful. Enjoy the journey of life because I I think we can all relate with just how fast paced it is. And it's the next big thing and the next like, okay, got to get to school, got to get to like sport events, to hit this deadline for work, got to, got to, got to, got to, you know, and then, oftentimes that creates a sense of urgency that makes it harder to
Noemi Beres (39:02.16)
Yeah.
Paul - Why, Dad? (39:18.985)
Yeah, just be in the moment. But what is more important than the moment with our kids and all of that is so that we can have a good and wonderful and fulfilling life. So it kind of like defeats the purpose sometimes if we get too stuck in the daily grind. So that's a powerful reminder. And I also like how art, music, whatever,
offers a an alternative and maybe even a more powerful alternative in certain ways than you mentioned journaling or meditation which are like at least in my feeds are constantly recommended but maybe maybe it's not for everybody maybe they don't want to journal maybe they don't want to meditate but you can achieve the same or even greater
Noemi Beres (40:05.659)
Yeah.
Noemi Beres (40:10.791)
Yeah.
Paul - Why, Dad? (40:15.937)
self-expression, self-realization, self-reflection through these means.
Andrew Stolpestad (40:24.023)
Yeah, I was just going to bring that up, Paul, because I know you and I have been talking about since we started this podcast, just the importance of setting aside five, 10 minutes a week on self reflection minimum. And then if. Like you really do have this interest, like it opens up a whole lot more possibilities to really come to know yourself more. I mean, we talked about using art as an expression, but then you get to understand yourself like, why am I feeling the way I'm feeling?
Noemi Beres (40:24.197)
Yeah, absolutely.
Andrew Stolpestad (40:53.947)
and really understand yourself more through your expression in your art. So, yeah, I was...
I really liked how you brought that up, especially with kids too. like they're not going to know how to meditate or journal necessarily, but you're giving them that outlet through art to come to understand and think about themselves in that way. And that's, it's so important for that, for young kids. And I've seen it in my nieces and nephews just to give them some way that they can stop all the rush of the reality around them and focus on what's going on on inside of them.
Noemi Beres (41:10.459)
Yeah.
Paul - Why, Dad? (41:36.821)
Yeah, something you said there, Andrew, made me think of, I think it's so easy to, when it comes to art, especially our kids' art, to say, that's so good, and that focuses on the quality of the art, whereas that's not necessarily the purpose or the...
Noemi Beres (41:57.799)
Mmm.
Paul - Why, Dad? (42:04.457)
what is most important about art. So do you have any thoughts about that, Noemi?
Noemi Beres (42:09.42)
Absolutely. I mean, it's because yeah, we were all born artists. Like kids are born artists and I think society, the school system just kind of kills that kind of creativity, what we got. And then, you know, when we are, you know, reached a certain age, it's like we're doing these art therapy courses and we go in there and it's like, wow. And we can do that and it helps us. It's like amazing, but we knew that all the way long, we just kind of lost it. So
Paul - Why, Dad? (42:15.009)
Mm.
Andrew Stolpestad (42:33.805)
Mm-hmm.
Paul - Why, Dad? (42:34.785)
Hmm.
Noemi Beres (42:36.07)
And the journey is so much more important because you're not an artist. doesn't have to be perfect. Perfection has nothing to do with it. You don't even have to show it to anyone and you don't have to force your kid and just put it on Facebook like what they do or whatever. It's their thing. It's sacred. It's for them. They can keep them. They can throw it away. They can do what they want with it. It doesn't really matter as long as it helps them to feeling better.
Paul - Why, Dad? (43:00.161)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (43:05.486)
in life. And for me, I have always like kind of three steps that I recommend to adults and even to kids that like explore different art forms because painting is not for everyone. I used to like painting. I don't like it anymore. Just find your, know, pick your poison. I mean, obviously we all have our something that we are getting excited about like or passionate about. And that's important to find a kind of passion about something that just kind of like, you know, keeps that light burning in us. And then
Paul - Why, Dad? (43:10.1)
Mm.
Andrew Stolpestad (43:15.063)
Mm-hmm.
Andrew Stolpestad (43:32.473)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (43:33.571)
incorporate into your daily life, whether it's a kid, whether it's a parent, just set aside a dedicated time, schedule something like, and it doesn't have to be two hours drawing or coloring. It's like, maybe just start with small steps, five, 10 minutes to do something that lights you up. And then doing something, and the third step is doing something in community. I mean, we can be virtual, we can be in person. There are different art communities, even for kids.
Paul - Why, Dad? (43:49.697)
Mm.
Noemi Beres (44:00.608)
and art clubs, or I don't know how you call them in the US, but you can totally join them if you are a parent, or even if you're together, like parent-kid art communities, and connecting with other people through art, that's an amazing thing, and also just maybe making friends through that. So I always advise this, just set aside some time, because we all have the time to do that, we just don't really focus on it anymore, because it's just not so important.
Andrew Stolpestad (44:16.471)
Mm-hmm.
Andrew Stolpestad (44:25.313)
Yeah, so Paul, said, you know, especially with kids in art, like we can say, say like, that's so good. And baby, you know, that's not they're not looking for recognition necessarily. Like, we've been talking about their expressing their emotions in this art. Like, how should we
If our kids are into that, approach, what questions should we ask them to get them to use that as a medium to open up to about what's going on inside of them? What were you feeling when you're drawing this or what's going on in your mind or what story are you trying to tell? What's the best way to approach that topic instead of just giving them the, that's really good or avoiding the negative of this line's not straight or things
like that,
Noemi Beres (45:15.738)
Yeah, yeah, don't correct or don't don't try to, you know, focus on perfection because that's not the whole point. But I love the question is like, what were you thinking when you did that? Or but don't ask the why questions, I guess, because why is so dark? Why is so red? I guess it just kids can get defensive and they just stop talking about it. But I think just kind of go with the flow and just try to be in there.
Paul - Why, Dad? (45:17.953)
Hmm.
Andrew Stolpestad (45:21.795)
Mm-hmm.
Andrew Stolpestad (45:29.699)
Mm-hmm.
Paul - Why, Dad? (45:31.776)
Hmm.
Right.
Andrew Stolpestad (45:36.376)
Right.
Noemi Beres (45:40.889)
you know, place and ask them, like, okay. And so what, what, what was on your mind or what were you thinking? And I love those questions. Like you can, you can totally ask that from kids and what inspired you to, you know, to draw that or. Yeah. I mean, these, I think that these are great questions to ask when you do that. Just don't criticize and don't judge because it's a safe place and it's not for judgment. It's not for perfection. Yeah. You colored out of the line and so what? I mean, you know, the
Andrew Stolpestad (45:47.725)
Mm-hmm.
Andrew Stolpestad (45:58.092)
Okay. Right.
Andrew Stolpestad (46:03.403)
Mm-hmm.
Andrew Stolpestad (46:09.24)
Right.
Noemi Beres (46:10.234)
the world will still spin around. So it doesn't make a huge difference. So, and no judgment. It's a judgment free place and this is self-expression. This is all about self-expression. So, and sometimes even if you just don't ask questions, it's just like they show them to you and it's like, yeah, and I love it. And that's it. You don't necessarily have to comment on something that you like we all do as parents. And I think that's the best, but no judgments.
Andrew Stolpestad (46:13.933)
Mm-hmm.
Andrew Stolpestad (46:20.739)
Right.
Andrew Stolpestad (46:31.874)
Mm-hmm.
Paul - Why, Dad? (46:38.465)
Yeah.
Andrew Stolpestad (46:38.488)
Right.
Noemi Beres (46:38.801)
No correction or nothing like that.
Paul - Why, Dad? (46:41.473)
Another phrase I've heard recommended that's are like along those lines that you were mentioning, Naomi is like, would like tell me more about X whatever and and and the analogy was You know, like let's say somebody is coming into your house for the first time and like How are you going to feel if you're like, like why'd you pick this color for your wall or or or even?
Andrew Stolpestad (46:41.578)
Thank you.
Noemi Beres (46:50.651)
Yeah.
Noemi Beres (47:06.15)
Yeah.
Paul - Why, Dad? (47:08.565)
But if you're like, tell me about this art piece. Tell me, is there a story behind it or whatever? you're gonna open up. yeah, we were traveling and there was probably a story behind it. Yeah.
Andrew Stolpestad (47:18.627)
Right.
Noemi Beres (47:25.06)
Yeah, there's a story. Yeah, always everywhere. Like during podcasts too. I mean, there's everything about storytelling. obviously, yeah, absolutely.
Paul - Why, Dad? (47:30.273)
Exactly. Yeah, those are great examples. And then, and doing that probably reinforces their connection with art or whatever it is, I imagine. As opposed to the, definitely, like the negative will kind of quash it a little or a lot. But,
Noemi Beres (47:46.114)
Absolutely, yeah.
Sorry.
Paul - Why, Dad? (47:59.073)
That's great. going back to your three steps, so exploring different forms, of like getting curious and finding like what works best for you. Dedicated time every day, which doesn't have to be a lot of time. Like you mentioned you spend five to 10 minutes every day on the drums. So, super achievable. And then doing something in community. Those are great steps. And, you know, I was trying to think.
Noemi Beres (48:15.661)
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yes.
Paul - Why, Dad? (48:28.597)
Like what do I do anything creative, you know, on a daily basis? And I'm not sure I do. I mean, my job in software development requires some creativity, but you know, that's still specific to my job. So I'm gonna have to give that some thought to think of like what that's going to look like. But I appreciate those recommendations.
And with that, we're kind of, we're near the end of our time. So Noemi, a couple of things to wrap us up. One is, where can, in whichever order you like, one is where can people find you? And two, what is one thing that you wanna share with our audience?
Noemi Beres (49:20.121)
Yeah, I start with the second one. yeah, so for me is like, whatever you do and whatever you do with your kids, just keep going and try to just, just repeat that, just being consistent with it. And I think that applies to life, business, raising a kid, like being consistent with and follow through things. So if you start something with them, just follow it through and try to be consistent with it and just keep going.
Andrew Stolpestad (49:30.197)
Mm-hmm.
Noemi Beres (49:45.83)
You know, you might, they might get defensive like when a teenager or something like I'm in that space right now. So that's why I'm talking about it. So they might get defensive. They, don't want to do this. Don't want to do that. But like, yeah, just trying to lead them into that way. just, just like, for example, for us in our family, we have this Sunday sacred time. Like we go for a walk. We do our hiking. We do this. We do that together. And he was that, yeah, he didn't want to do it at the beginning, but then
Andrew Stolpestad (49:52.985)
Mm-hmm.
Paul - Why, Dad? (49:53.281)
Mm-hmm
Noemi Beres (50:13.145)
He somehow eased into it now and now he's looking forward to it. So you just have to keep trying, trying and not like pushing, but trying like in a soft way and then just keep going with it. think that's just keep going. That's my motto. whatever you do. So I think that's, that's one of the messages, most important messages I want to keep, leave the audience with. And yeah, where they can find me. You can find me if it's some things about podcast, guesting or podcasts I'm available on, you know, you can find us on.
Paul - Why, Dad? (50:31.797)
Beautiful.
Noemi Beres (50:41.903)
podcast connections, plural.co and I'm also on Instagram. As I mentioned before, you type my name in Noemi Beres and on LinkedIn as well. And that's my space. So you can always, we can have a conversation about, you know, art. can have a conversation about podcasts and I'm happy to do that either way.
Paul - Why, Dad? (51:03.819)
Fantastic, I love it. Noemi, this has been a pleasure. What a fun conversation, especially along the lines of art and the alternatives that it gives us to some of the other, maybe like less enticing things such as journaling or meditating, and much more approachable, I think. So I really appreciate your perspective and your time. yeah, thank you so much.
Andrew Stolpestad (51:05.109)
Awesome, same.
Andrew Stolpestad (51:21.663)
Mm-hmm.
Andrew Stolpestad (51:28.782)
Yes.
Noemi Beres (51:32.399)
Thank you so much Paul and Andrew, it was an honor to be here. Thank you.
Andrew Stolpestad (51:33.785)
We're happy to have you.
Paul - Why, Dad? (51:35.679)
Alright, yes, thank you. So this has been an episode with the Why Dad podcast featuring Noemi Beres. So for those listening, be sure to like and subscribe. If you found this episode interesting, be sure to share it with somebody else who you think will as well. So until next time, thank you everybody.
Andrew Stolpestad (51:58.083)
Thank you Nemi, thank you Paul, and thank you all.